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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Jack Stebbins

Scalpers Spotted Outside Fenway Park Selling Ballots For Half Price

October 18, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

After early voting started this week at Fenway Park, scalpers were spotted outside the historic stadium selling discount ballots to Boston voters.  “I got one for Biden, two for Trump, and twelve for Jo Jorgensen,” said scalper Dave O’Connor, displaying a jacket pocket full of crumbled up ballots. “Lowest I’ll go is $50, these are selling for at least double … [Read more...] about Scalpers Spotted Outside Fenway Park Selling Ballots For Half Price

Chic Boston Apartment Has Exposed Brick, Exposed Light Bulbs, Exposed Asbestos

September 23, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

From exposed brick and wooden beams to incredibly toxic airborne asbestos, this chic Boston apartment really has everything. The studio’s modern style lays bare all of the typically unseen, sometimes carcinogenic structural framing, so you know exactly how you’re living, and exactly how you’ll die. “This place is so raw and open, kinda like me actually,” said tenant Edward … [Read more...] about Chic Boston Apartment Has Exposed Brick, Exposed Light Bulbs, Exposed Asbestos

Salem City Council Announces Progress On Coronavirus Counter-Curse

September 15, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

SALEM, MA — The city council of Salem announced on Tuesday they've made significant strides in the creation of a coronavirus counter-curse. “Good afternoon, my pretties,” began Councilwoman Sybil Gust in a live streamed press conference . “We are pleased to share that our COVID-19 counter-curse is only two full moons away from completion.” The counter-curse project has … [Read more...] about Salem City Council Announces Progress On Coronavirus Counter-Curse

Belichick Shocks Pats Fans With New Sweatshirt-less Sleeves

September 13, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick shocked fans and fashion-enthusiasts alike on Sunday when he revealed his new look: sweatshirt-less sleeves, a bold departure from his usual sleeveless sweatshirt. “I always wondered what he did with those sleeves he cut off,” said Bart Wodder, a Patriots fan, and an avid gray sweatshirt wearer. “This is not what I expected. I guess … [Read more...] about Belichick Shocks Pats Fans With New Sweatshirt-less Sleeves

Tom Brady Installs Emergency Avocado In Tampa Bay Locker

August 10, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

“In crazy times like these, you never know when you need an avocado,” said Brady. “I can’t tell you how often I find myself in major crisis because I need monounsaturated fat.” Image and headline by contributor Jack Stebbins. Check out Jack on Instagram @stebbuns and Twitter @jackstebbs … [Read more...] about Tom Brady Installs Emergency Avocado In Tampa Bay Locker

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  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

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