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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Andrew Haskell

Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams

May 14, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

It has to be done. … [Read more...] about Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams

Family Decides Not To Ask Grandpa To Elaborate When He Says ‘I Wish There Were More Players Like Larry Bird These Days’

April 2, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

“You’ve already said more than enough, Grampa. Let’s get you back to bed. The Celtics are doing just fine.” … [Read more...] about Family Decides Not To Ask Grandpa To Elaborate When He Says ‘I Wish There Were More Players Like Larry Bird These Days’

Return Of Baseball Forces Wally The Green Monster To Drop Out Of Upcoming Season Of ‘Love Is Blind’

March 10, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

HOLLYWOOD, CA - News that the MLB and MLBPA have ended the looming lockout has been met with a flurry of excitement from baseball fans—but one key member of the Red Sox isn’t so excited. According to TMZ, Wally The Green Monster has been forced to drop out of the next season of Netflix hit “Love Is Blind” to return to Fenway Park for the upcoming baseball season.  The … [Read more...] about Return Of Baseball Forces Wally The Green Monster To Drop Out Of Upcoming Season Of ‘Love Is Blind’

Rest In Po’Boy: At Family’s Request, Late Founder Of Legal Sea Foods To Be Battered, Fried, And Served With Side Of Coleslaw

March 1, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

CAMBRIDGE, MA - For 97 years, George Berkowitz lived a long, prosperous life. As founder of the iconic New England restaurant chain Legal Sea Foods, his legacy will continue to be tasted for years to come, figuratively at least. But also maybe literally? As confirmed by his family, Berkowitz will receive an ocean burial off the coast of Cape Cod, per his final wish. His will … [Read more...] about Rest In Po’Boy: At Family’s Request, Late Founder Of Legal Sea Foods To Be Battered, Fried, And Served With Side Of Coleslaw

Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans

January 17, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

In an announcement sure to appease hurting Pats fans everywhere, Bill Belichick told reporters today that next season, the team will “most likely” bring back cheating to avoid another heartbreak season.  “Suffering through a 47-17 loss to the Buffalo Bills can have a devastating impact on the mental and physical health of our fan base,” Belichick said. “You know me, I’m … [Read more...] about Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans

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  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

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