BOSTON—As a precautionary measure, the Celtics organization has reportedly added a trap door on Lucky the Leprechaun’s face in preparation for the likely finals showdown with the Dallas Maverick and Kyrie Irving.
“Kyrie has a dirty history of face stomping on our dear Lucky, and this time we will be prepared,” said an unnamed Celtics’ security officer. “If he tries to desecrate our mascot on center court, his foot will be caught in our humane trap and an alarm will alert the refs immediately of his unsportsmanlike behavior.”
“We were also going to put a syringe full of Covid vaccine down there to really dissuade him from stomping on Lucky, but the league said we couldn’t do that.”
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