38 Adorable New England-Inspired Names For The Mice Your Landlord Won’t Do Anything About

Medford, MA – So you’ve got mice. You’ve tried traps, poisons, exterminators, locking up food, plugging up holes with steel wool, and even asking them very nicely to leave, but nothing is keeping their numbers down.

Your landlord, whose name you don’t even know, has already committed to doing nothing about them. You’ve tried calling 311, but she’s paid them off. You’re left with no solutions. The only option is to live in peace with your animal brethren. So you might as well name them! 

Here are some cute New England-themed name options to consider for your seemingly permanent murine pals.

Athletes

1. Cedric Maxwell – He ate my cornbread
2. Paul Pierce – He’s cool and all the other mice seem to respect him a lot
3. Big Papi – Large, intimidating, and appears to have three rings on his paw
4. Mousecus Smart – He’s got so much hustle and likes to flop around

Mascots (or Mousecots)

5. Minute-mouse – Always in and out of the pantry in a flash
6. Providence Friar – He has a bald spot on top of his head
7. UConn Husky – He’s a little heavyset
8. Jumbo the Elephant – He’s heavyset and has a big snout
9. Blades the Bruin – He’s heavyset and looks like a tiny brown bear
10. Wally – He lives in the walls
11. C dog – She lives in the ceiling
12. Hartford Wailer – He’s loud, but everyone forgets about him
13. Fenway Frank – His tail looks like a hot dog

Literary

14. Jack Torrats (RIP) – Froze to death
15. Pennywise – Lives in the sewer
16. Salem – Jet black and lives in the abandoned lot next door
17. Carrie – Always covered in blood

Celebrities and notable figures

18. Elizabeth Warren – Our favorite mouse, shares food with smaller mice, and should be their leader but isn’t for some reason
19. Robert Kraft – He eats tons of cheese and craves human touch
20. Ben Ratfleck – Handsome, as far as rodents go
21. Rat Damon – Slightly less handsome, as far as rodents go, but always confused for Ben Ratfleck
22. Ted Kennedy – Has a giant head
23. Jack Kennedy (RIP) – We will let you infer what happened to his head
24. Chappaquiddick “Chip” (RIP) – “Accidentally” drowned

Places:

25. Pawtucket 
26. Mousechester
27. New Hampster
28. Vermonteray Jack – She only eats Cabot cheese
29. Dunkies – Orange fur with a bright pink nose
30. Wound Socket (RIP) – Electrocuted
31. Rhody – Small and loud
32. Quincy – Always just outside the room
33. Southie – Missing left paw 
34. Foxburrow – Not a mouse, just the fox that lives in our backyard

Musicians

35. Mighty Mighty Mousetone – He just dances around
36. Powermouse 5000 – Has spiky hair
37. Dropkick Murphy – Only shows up on St. Patrick’s Day
38. Marky Mouse – Attacks mice who look different from him and somehow suffers no repercussions