• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Local

‘Just Venmo Me,’ Says Harvard Student To Friends After Putting Entire Meal On Daddy’s Credit Card

February 1, 2024 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

When Harvard Sophomore Jessie Moffatt eagerly picked up the 355.78 dollar tab at Russell House Tavern in Cambridge last Friday night, his party of 10 was initially optimistic. “The dude’s loaded, we thought he was treating us,”said a party member who wished to remain anonymous. “Oh, I got this one guys,” Moffatt reportedly stated, “don’t even worry about.” “But like, … [Read more...] about ‘Just Venmo Me,’ Says Harvard Student To Friends After Putting Entire Meal On Daddy’s Credit Card

‘Bring It On!’ Says Boston Resident Who Prepares For Snowstorm By Putting Shorts On

January 6, 2024 by Brisa Sylvestre Leave a Comment

DORCHESTER—As the first major winter storm of the season approached, Boston resident Johnny “Buckets” Buckachowski was seen sitting on his front stoop in shorts, holding a large iced coffee and staring at the sky. “BRING IT ON!” said an ecstatic Buckets as he taunted the powers that be in tan cargo and bean boots, ready to fight off any dusting of snow that accumulates on … [Read more...] about ‘Bring It On!’ Says Boston Resident Who Prepares For Snowstorm By Putting Shorts On

Actual Cambridge Resident Doesn’t Use Spotify Because They’re Too Busy Coding An App That Will Soon Replace It

December 1, 2023 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

“I only listen to white noise and venture capital podcasts. I don’t engage with soon-to-be obsolete technology.” … [Read more...] about Actual Cambridge Resident Doesn’t Use Spotify Because They’re Too Busy Coding An App That Will Soon Replace It

Salem Residents Brace For Invasion Of Disney Adults

October 3, 2023 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

“All of our Disney friends said we need to check out Salem sometime. So we thought, why not October? It’s still cheaper than Epcot!” said Eliza Peaux, dressed as a witch from Hocus Pocus. “These lines are nothing compared to the magic kingdom. Hey look, is that a hidden Mickey on that 1600s gravestone?!” … [Read more...] about Salem Residents Brace For Invasion Of Disney Adults

Move Over, Pumpkin Spice: Polar Releases New “Sam Adams Seasonal” Flavored Seltzer

September 28, 2023 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

Polar, the popular Worcester-based seltzer powerhouse, has decided to tap into their New England roots by releasing a new crossover flavor just in time for fall: Sam Adams Seasonal. “What makes these seltzers unique is that they are brewed with grain, hops, yeast, and, of course, carbonated water,” said a Polar spokesperson. Some of you might be asking yourselves, “Is … [Read more...] about Move Over, Pumpkin Spice: Polar Releases New “Sam Adams Seasonal” Flavored Seltzer

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat

April 2, 2025

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston

March 14, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

Brown University Student Who Hasn’t Left East Side Of Providence Proud To Go To School In City

June 1, 2023

National

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...