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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

dorchester

Ancestry Study Reveals 91% Of Dorchester Residents Related To Wahlberg Family

December 27, 2021 by The Boston Accent

On Monday, a team of scientists from MIT reported incredible findings: 9 in 10 Residents of Dorchester are genetically related to the Wahlberg family. “Deep down, I always knew I had Marky Mark blood flowin through my veins,” said Dot resident Kyle Quinnly, who added he gets mistaken for a Wahlberg at least twice a year. “Does this mean I get some of their Wahlburgers … [Read more...] about Ancestry Study Reveals 91% Of Dorchester Residents Related To Wahlberg Family

“Boston Is Not Racist,” Says White Man Who’s Afraid To Visit Dorchester

July 30, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I’ve just heard Dorchester is a dangerous place, that’s all,” said Tim Mayor, who has lived in Seaport for three years and has never taken the T for fear of getting mugged. “But that doesn’t make me racist—I almost voted for Ayanna Pressley!” … [Read more...] about “Boston Is Not Racist,” Says White Man Who’s Afraid To Visit Dorchester

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  • Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’ June 24, 2022
  • A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals June 19, 2022
  • Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts June 16, 2022
  • We Asked Brookline Residents If They’re Excited To Host The US Open And They Told Us To Get Off Their Grass June 15, 2022

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