The Boston Accent

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National News

Georgia Engulfed In Blue Wave 5 Years Earlier Than Climate Scientists Expected

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ATLANTA – The victories of Senators-Elect Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff have submerged the state of Georgia in a blue wave years earlier than climate scientists expected. “I thought the first time I would see a blue Georgia would be from a boat,” said 27-year-old resident Erica Sawyer. “Our coastline has been eroding fast, but this flood came way ahead of schedule.” In a … [Read more...] about Georgia Engulfed In Blue Wave 5 Years Earlier Than Climate Scientists Expected

30-Year-Old Man Jogging In Marginally Cold Weather Pretty Sure He Could Hack It In SEAL Training

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As Derrick Bryant, 30, went on his bi-weekly three mile jog today, the mild discomfort caused by the 34 degree weather assured him that, if he wanted, he could probably still enlist as a Navy SEAL, despite their age cutoff of 28 and far more rigorous training standard. “I'm sure it's tough, but hell, I could do it still, I bet. I'm in pretty good shape, and I mean, it's cold … [Read more...] about 30-Year-Old Man Jogging In Marginally Cold Weather Pretty Sure He Could Hack It In SEAL Training

Department Of Public Health Hires Balto To Deliver Covid Vaccines To Hospitals During Upcoming Snowstorm

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Citing the sled dog’s heroic medicine delivery during Alaska’s diphtheria outbreak in 1925, the Mass. Department of Public Health has announced they will rely exclusively on Balto to deliver Covid vaccines to Boston hospitals during the upcoming snowstorm. “Balto saved countless lives a century ago, and his bravery will once again be put to the test this week,” a … [Read more...] about Department Of Public Health Hires Balto To Deliver Covid Vaccines To Hospitals During Upcoming Snowstorm

College President Pounds A Forty To Unwind As Students Head Home To Become Parents’ Problem

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After spending millions on testing and contact tracing to prevent COVID spread on campuses, college presidents and administrators around the country are breathing a collective sigh of relief as they wave goodbye to the last students leaving for Winter Break. “I hope they make good choices but frankly, I am so exhausted I could not care less,” said a local college president, … [Read more...] about College President Pounds A Forty To Unwind As Students Head Home To Become Parents’ Problem