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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

The Boston Accent

Finally Free To Be Himself: Charlie Baker Attends Maura Healey’s Inauguration Wearing Lip Ring, Guyliner, Blink-182 Shirt

January 5, 2023 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

“Massachusetts, get ready to meet the real Charlie!” yelled the former Governor, blaring “Adam’s Song” from a handheld speaker as he skateboarded away from the TD Garden celebration. “Good luck Governor Healey—I’ll miss yewwwwww (miss yewwwwww)!” … [Read more...] about Finally Free To Be Himself: Charlie Baker Attends Maura Healey’s Inauguration Wearing Lip Ring, Guyliner, Blink-182 Shirt

How To Protest Dunkin’s New Rewards System While Still Drinking Dunkin’ Every Day

November 29, 2022 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

So you’re pissed about the Dunkin’ Rewards app, huh? Join the club, buddy. Here are some ways you can stick it to ‘em while still being clinically dependent on their caffeine: … [Read more...] about How To Protest Dunkin’s New Rewards System While Still Drinking Dunkin’ Every Day

‘What Turkey Shortage?’ Asks Local Woman Cleaning Feathers From Her Car Grill

November 24, 2022 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

After an outbreak of bird flu wreaked havoc on poultry farms over the past year, causing notable shortages of turkey, many have wondered whether the Thanksgiving staple would make it to the shelves this year. Not Erika Stauss, though. “I dunno what the heck you’re talking about,” said the Quincy resident, standing in the parking lot of Shaw’s picking feathers out of the … [Read more...] about ‘What Turkey Shortage?’ Asks Local Woman Cleaning Feathers From Her Car Grill

Emerson Graduate Who Never Left Theatre District Moves To L.A. To Tell ‘Authentic Boston Stories’

November 13, 2022 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

LOS ANGELES—After one of the biggest bidding wars ever for a first-time script, screenwriter and recent Emerson graduate William Chatley III is sitting pretty. His screenplay "The Brothers Finnigan" was acquired by Amazon Studios for a whopping 500,000 dollars! The screenplay, a story of two troubled genius brother-bartenders from Southie who begin robbing banks after the … [Read more...] about Emerson Graduate Who Never Left Theatre District Moves To L.A. To Tell ‘Authentic Boston Stories’

Surprise! Midterms Prove New Englanders Actually Care About Fellow Humans Behind Our Cold Exteriors

November 12, 2022 by The Boston Accent Leave a Comment

New Englanders are typically so rude* and unfriendly!** *blue**support human rights We’re not perfect, but we’re way closer to it than Florida. … [Read more...] about Surprise! Midterms Prove New Englanders Actually Care About Fellow Humans Behind Our Cold Exteriors

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Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires

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All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

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MBTA Train Left In The Dust By 5-Year-Old On Tricycle

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

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  • MBTA Train Left In The Dust By 5-Year-Old On Tricycle March 21, 2023
  • Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires March 15, 2023
  • All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay March 11, 2023
  • I Can’t Believe This Server Offered Me A Dripping Hot 3-Way My First Time In The North Shore! March 9, 2023

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