BOSTON—As a precautionary measure, the Celtics organization has reportedly added a trap door on Lucky the Leprechaun’s face in preparation for the likely finals showdown with the Dallas Maverick and Kyrie Irving. “Kyrie has a dirty history of face stomping on our dear Lucky, and this time we will be prepared,” said an unnamed Celtics’ security officer. “If he tries to … [Read more...] about Celtics Booby Trap Lucky’s Face In Preparation For Kyrie’s Return
Boston Briefly Replaces New York City As Dublin’s Portal Connection, Shuts Down After Both Sides Get Bored Watching Drunk Guys Named Liam Fight
Did you know Boston and Dublin were recently linked by The Portal after New York City’s infamous flashing incident? Of course you didn’t. That’s because it lasted a mere two hours before shutting down due to sheer boredom from both sides of watching sloshed Liams scrap each other for hours on end. “We already got dudes in scally caps brawling here, I can walk down Dot … [Read more...] about Boston Briefly Replaces New York City As Dublin’s Portal Connection, Shuts Down After Both Sides Get Bored Watching Drunk Guys Named Liam Fight
Man Stuck In Marathon Monday Traffic Has Sad Realization People Ran 26.2 Miles Faster Than He Driving It
“If I could get home in just around 2 hours, that would be incredible. These people are superhuman. Or our city’s infrastructure is super f*cked, one of the two.” … [Read more...] about Man Stuck In Marathon Monday Traffic Has Sad Realization People Ran 26.2 Miles Faster Than He Driving It
Robby Roadsteamer Named Poet Laureate Of Massachusetts For 17th Consecutive Year
ALLSTON—For a record-breaking seventeenth year in a row, Robby Roadsteamer has once again been named Poet Laureate of Massachusetts. The award-winning writer and activist will serve as an advocate for poetry and the local arts and will work to raise consciousness and appreciation of poetry in its written and spoken forms. The Poet Laureate will receive an honorarium of … [Read more...] about Robby Roadsteamer Named Poet Laureate Of Massachusetts For 17th Consecutive Year
Actual Cambridge Resident Doesn’t Use Spotify Because They’re Too Busy Coding An App That Will Soon Replace It
“I only listen to white noise and venture capital podcasts. I don’t engage with soon-to-be obsolete technology.” … [Read more...] about Actual Cambridge Resident Doesn’t Use Spotify Because They’re Too Busy Coding An App That Will Soon Replace It