• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Joel Papp

Shocking: Celtics Return Home From Florida Instead Of Going There To Die Like Most New Englanders

May 24, 2023 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

New Englanders “I was sure they were going to pull a Nana and go to south Florida and never make it back alive. Looks like we’re still in this! Celtics in 7. Also RIP Nana.” (Impact copyright Celtics/respective owners and used under fair use) … [Read more...] about Shocking: Celtics Return Home From Florida Instead Of Going There To Die Like Most New Englanders

Bruins In Spectacular Position To Disappoint Fans In Playoffs

March 5, 2023 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

“We’ve worked so hard this year—and it would be a shame if we finished the job and won the Stanley Cup,” said head coach Jim Montgomery. “We would love to maintain that recent Boston sports excellence of getting so close to a championship but squandering it right at the finish line. With great seasons come great disappointments, and I think we’re in a perfect position for … [Read more...] about Bruins In Spectacular Position To Disappoint Fans In Playoffs

Tom Brady Suffers Early Exit From NFL Playoffs, By Far The Worst Thing To Happen To Him In Past Year

January 18, 2023 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

“This year has been rocky. The one thing I live for—spending time with the only love of my life—has ended. But luckily there’s always next season,” said Brady. “This is my family we’re talking about, and it’s a true travesty that we couldn’t make it to the next round of this tournament. I feel divorced from reality.” … [Read more...] about Tom Brady Suffers Early Exit From NFL Playoffs, By Far The Worst Thing To Happen To Him In Past Year

‘I Go To School In Boston,’ Says Vague BU Student Who Wants Strangers From Hometown To Think They Go To Harvard

January 5, 2023 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

INDIANA—While home on winter break, Boston University freshman Allie Hayes couldn't wait to take a visit to her hometown coffee shop. “I go to school in Boston,” Allie said unprovoked to the barista, just loud enough to alert every other uninterested guest in the vicinity. Donning a Red Sox cap and an unbranded “Boston” sweatshirt under her jacket, Allie continued. “My … [Read more...] about ‘I Go To School In Boston,’ Says Vague BU Student Who Wants Strangers From Hometown To Think They Go To Harvard

« Previous Page

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat

April 2, 2025

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston

March 14, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

‘Just Venmo Me,’ Says Harvard Student To Friends After Putting Entire Meal On Daddy’s Credit Card

February 1, 2024

National

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...