BOSTON — Red Sox research and development staff recently explained how the team’s cutting-edge bat technology has helped star designated hitter Rafael Devers achieve his historic 0-19 start to the season.
“We were analyzing video from previous seasons, and a pattern became apparent,” said Connor McCann, the team’s principal engineer and tech lead. “We noticed that batted balls were consistently going right through a hole in Raffy’s glove. It was just a matter of adding that feature to his bat by moving the wood into an O-shaped hole. We thought it might make him more comfortable, now that he won’t be playing defense so much.”
Director of Baseball Sciences David Besky explained that the team called in outside consultants to help design the new bat.
“We had been tipped off about the Yankees’ new torpedo bats,” said David Besky, the team’s Director of Baseball Sciences. “Word was that they had an MIT grad on staff, which rubbed us the wrong way. No loyalty. We decided to put a real Massachusetts twist on it and called in some engineers from Dunkin. Instead of pine tar, we glaze the entire bat. There’s no rule about how high glaze can go.”
At press time, Devers was seen attempting to take a bite out of his bat after being struck out.
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