Local bartender Ashley Stevens was left utterly shocked this weekend when a man donning a salmon linen shirt, 9-inch inseam navy shorts, and a belt covered in downright adorable whales turned out to be a complete d-bag.
“You’re too pretty to work here, you know that right?” said the cute-belted man, quickly covering his wedding ring with his other hand. “I’ll take two Blue Moons with three orange slices. And are you on the menu?”
Upon informing the man and his darling whales that the bar didn’t have orange slices and she was not in fact on the menu, Stevens began to realize she had been duped by the cuteness of the marine mammal belt. Her inclination was quickly confirmed.
“This bar sucks and you’re like a 4 tops,” said the man, leaving no tip. “I’m gonna trash this place on yelp.”
(Photo used fair use, we do not have any ownership)
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