• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

None Of Us Could Agree On The Perfect Option, So Here’s All The Places We Can’t Recommend For Italian Food

May 31, 2023 by Kyle Duggan Leave a Comment

In honor of Rhode Island Week, The Boston Accent editorial team thought it would be a neat idea to create a guide to some of the best eateries in the littlest state. We immediately hit upon the idea of sharing our favorite places to get Italian food, as our tiny state has an outsized share of such establishments. That, however, was where our progress stopped. For every suggestion we made, someone in the group had a reason to strike it from consideration. Rather than rework our veto system, we decided it would be easier to just make a list of the places you shouldn’t go.

Vanda Cucina — Warwick

We all agree that the food is to die for, especially the handmade pasta. Every course of your meal will leave you satisfied. The drinks were great, but Brian says he won’t go to a restaurant that measures its pours, so we had to cross this off of our list.

Make sure to try: The focaccia is divine.

Avoid: Volunteering to be designated driver within earshot of Brian.

Camille’s — Providence

A Rhode Island institution that has been in business for over a century, we have all had great experiences at Camille’s. We really wish we could recommend it to you. Unfortunately, this was Joe’s second wife’s favorite restaurant, so he can’t even think about it without getting sick.

Make sure to try: If they’re offering the rack of lamb, you simply must order it.

Avoid: Marrying Joe.

Sardella’s Italian Restaurant — Newport

Sardella’s is a wonderfully atmospheric restaurant featuring traditional family recipes. If you’re in Newport, we would say it’s a must — or we would, if Sandra didn’t think it got too hot because of the fireplaces. We argued that they were charming, and that they’re not even lit during the summer, but she said even knowing they’re there makes her sweat.

Make sure to try: Don’t feel too cheesy ordering the pizza — it’s delectable.

Avoid: Inhaling too deeply near Sandra when it’s warm out.

Rosalina — Providence

If you like a modern take on Italian, then Rosalina is the place for you. Unfortunately, Tony folded his arms and scowled the moment the word “modern” came up and said he wasn’t, “for that kinda thing,” whatever that means.

Make sure to try: Don’t be squeamish! Order the squid ink pasta!

Avoid: Talking politics with Tony.

Avvio Ristorante — Cranston

The excellent service and reasonable prices make Avvio a great place to host a nice family dinner. While we were discussing its convenient location in Garden City, Kathy wrinkled her nose and said she would never go to a restaurant that shared a parking lot with Applebee’s.

Make sure to try: The perfect blend of mozzarella and pecorino make Avvio’s gnocchi a stand-out dish.

Avoid: Applebee’s.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Related

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: food, Italian, Local, Rhode Island, satire

Reader Interactions

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat

April 2, 2025

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston

March 14, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

‘Just Venmo Me,’ Says Harvard Student To Friends After Putting Entire Meal On Daddy’s Credit Card

February 1, 2024

National

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes