BRIDGEWATER, MA — Kim Hobbs couldn’t believe her luck as a returning Bridgewater State University sophomore when she was given the chance to switch her major to BSU’s new Student Debt Enforcement program, the fastest growing degree across student-debt-addled America.
“I used to be a criminal justice major, pre-law minor, but when I realized that law school would require $300,000 more student debt, something just clicked for me,” explained Hobbs, walking back from a seminar course called “Sallie Mae Economics.”
“Student Debt Enforcement is basically like majoring in law anyways, except we’re even more predatory than attorneys and the job market is hotter than ever, thanks to Joe Biden.
Hobbs says the program is very tight knit and she has already made a number of wonderful friendships, including a peer mentor assigned to monitor her own $30,000 and rising student debt. “My mentor already called Navient to tell them I’m at risk of delinquency—he really cares about my success and experiential learning.”
At press time, Harvard University was heard announcing a new undergraduate concentration in Applied Endowment Hoarding.