Melania Bastes White House Turkey With Remdesivir To Cure Meat

“This is a great cure, it is a miracle cure,” noted the First Lady, admiring the roasted turkey, which appeared to be squirming on the platter. “And the flavor will pair perfectly with Ivanka’s hydroxychloroquine stuffing and Don Jr.’s antibody gin cocktail.”

At press time, White House chefs were busy preparing the final course: a roasted lame duck.