You may be thinking: “I live in a tiny studio in Back Bay. If an apocalyptic civil war breaks out after election day, I’m totally screwed.”
Well, you couldn’t be more wrong! Here are five tried and true tips that will help you repurpose your cozy apartment for the dark days ahead.
- Use the lack of elevator to your advantage. There is no way your dinky little dwelling has any modern amenities like an elevator. Block the stairs to your fifth floor walkup and you’re good to go!
- Turn your kitchenette into an arms storage nook. So what if your studio doesn’t have a dishwasher or full size oven. Use the space you’ve got to store whatever makeshift weapons you may have. A curling iron can go a long way if you know where to shove it.
- Make alliances with the cockroaches and other nuclear-resistant vermin in your walls. These pests may soon become your only friends. Consider giving them some love!
- Put all three pieces of furniture that fit inside your pathetic excuse for a dwelling against the door. This one is pretty self explanatory.
- Since paper currency will no longer exist, rent is not an issue. Use the money you are now saving to purchase as many non-perishable food times as you can and store them in the dresser you used to use for clothes. No one wears clothes during an apocalypse.
Additional reporting by Jack Stebbins and Justin Kaplan