• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Support Us
  • New! Buy Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Connecticut Legislature Approves $40 Million New Haven-Style Pizza Awareness Campaign

May 26, 2022 by danbookbinder

HARTFORD, CT—On May 26, Governor Ned Lamont and a bipartisan group of legislators announced a once-in-a-generation investment to inform the broader public about the importance of New Haven-style pizza.

The coal-fired pizza has long been celebrated in pockets of New England, but Senate Bill 5052 seeks to amplify the cultural impact of New Haven-style pizza beyond the region. 

“For too long, people have assumed our pizza was just like New York pizza, but the differences are clear as day– ‘Apizza’ is moderately thinner with a little more char and a slightly chewier texture,” said Lamont. “America needs to know this and that’s why this investment is so important.”

“It was hard enough competing with New York and Chicago, but now there are upstarts like Detroit,” said State Senator Bob Duff. “And with Goldbelly promoting Minneapolis pickle pizza it was clear this is a dire situation.” 

Key elements of the bill include tax breaks on coal and oregano, using monies set aside for Medicaid to finance grants for pecorino romano cheese, and repurposing FEMA funds for use in a swanky ad series which explains that in New Haven, mozzarella is pronounced “mootz.” 

Some expressed concern about these budgetary changes. “Well, I’m no longer eligible for Medicaid,” said Stratford resident Danielle Gray. “But at least people in North Dakota may soon know about the intricacies of pies served at Frank Pepe’s. That’s something to feel good about.”

Share this:

  • Tweet

Related

Filed Under: National News Tagged With: apizza, Connecticut, new Haven, pizza

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

July 22, 2020

A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals

June 19, 2022

Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts

June 16, 2022

We Asked Brookline Residents If They’re Excited To Host The US Open And They Told Us To Get Off Their Grass

June 15, 2022

Sports

If Klay Thompson Actually Cared About Offending Kids, He Wouldn’t Have Appeared In The New ‘Space Jam’

June 9, 2022

College

Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022

National

Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’

June 24, 2022

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here.

Recent

  • Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’ June 24, 2022
  • A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals June 19, 2022
  • Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts June 16, 2022
  • We Asked Brookline Residents If They’re Excited To Host The US Open And They Told Us To Get Off Their Grass June 15, 2022

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2022 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes